the good voice and the lazy voice

I went running this morning and it was fantastic... the running itself is kinda annoying cause it makes my knee hurt and its hard to breath and what not, but it gives me a good feeling too... a very satisfied blood flowing through my body proud of myself kinda feeling, so that is why I like it. Although whenever I am thinking about going for a run (unless its early in the morning and I'm still not awake enough to fully comprehend what I'm doing) I can only seem to remember the bad parts about running. That is sad... I think what it must be is that lazy part of my subconscoious sleeps in until about 9:00 am, so that is why I genearlly can get my ass out the door to be productive and exercise or write or do generally good things before 9am (its 8:40 right now by the way), but after that i find I start to have this inner dialouge about everything good that i want to do where I'm like "I should go running it's healthy, and it really does feel good, much better than sitting on the couch actually" and then this other voice in my head is like "yeah you could go running and it might feel kinda good and what not... but probably it won't and you only get so much time to sit and relax... I mean sure you spend all day at work screwing around on the computer and most nights you just watch TV, but its the weekend, this is the only time in the whole week that you can screw around on the internet WHILE you watch TV.... and like I always give into that voice because hte argument sound so thought out and convincing... but I think the voice of good things and motivation is getting stronger lately 'cause I've been riding my bike home after work (instead of taking the train) a lot more lately. I've even turned down a ride from Jose a couple of times, and I've actually begun considering looking for a new job... I m ean I dont wanna screw over Shamrock, but really my job is where I spend the majority of my time, so having a job that I dont hate is good, but having a job that satisfies and challenges me would be Fan tastic... I think the satisfying challenging jobs might pay more too... well actually, maybe not, but they might pay comprably and that would be aweome if i could make money and feel good about what I'm doign to make it.

oh yeah, so anyway, about my run... There is this company called Oracle, that is about a mile from our apartment, and their buildings are right along this wetland lagoon kind of thing and they have a huge trail network and beautiful landscaping all around their facility. There are about 5 or 6 different several mile trails that I have been on within like a five minute walk of oracle and they are all beautful and there are so many animals. This morning I left here around like 6:15 and I got back around 8:00 and I think I only saw like 1 other human the entire time I was out, but I saw two toads, about 10 jack rabbits, a skunk (more on that in a minute) and like a million ducks and geese. Its like a little garden of eden over there and there are like lots of pretty plants and things. I really wanted to pick some of the flowers, but they were growing in an area that was being restored, so I was good and I left all the natural things there for other people and animals and what not to enjoy. I am really starting to like the area around our apartment, so when our lease is up, I hope that I can stay around here... anyway...

I think the only time I have ever seen a live skunk befor this morning was one time when I was at Disney land, I saw one running into a bush near big thunder rail road, and I was like, dude this has gotta be the m ost stressful place a wild animal could possibly live, but yeah it was cute... Today I almost ran over a skunk though. It was still dark for most of the time i was running, so like I smelled a skunky smell and hten i saw this furry thing walking along straight towards me and I thought it was a cat or something like that at first 'cause yeah I didn't put two and two together, but then i saw the stripe and I immediately turned and walked the other way, but like that skunk just kept on going like it was invincible. Like it never changed course even when I was only like 6 feet away, it just stuck its tail in the air and got its ammo ready. I was impressed. I mena having a stinky ass, must be a pretty good defense cause this thing just knew that it owned me.

Ok, so yeah those are the thoughts that have found their way into my head since I got the blood flowing this morning.