Friday, February 6, 2009

My moment of inspira... ahh fuck it I'm over it now

Last Friday night when I got home from work I was feeling really pumped up to do something productive and meaningful... so after re-reading the planting instructions for all of the seeds I bought for my garden I decided I should make a diagram of my garden beds and figure out which seeds I should plant in which bed... but then I remembered I still had one garden bed to dig and I wanted to make sure I was able to measure that bed before I went and started making any plans so i would have the proper spacing between plants, but I still had this vivacious creative feeling...I started to think about what I might be able to make to satiet my hunger for creation... and then all of the sudden I had an idea about how to re-work a story that I've been blocked on for like 2 or 3 years... ( I will not go into further detail about the story 'cause I am paranoid that someone will steal my idea... even though I probably will never actually finish my story)

Anyway, I sat down at my boyfriend's PC and started to write down my idea... and about 2 sentences into typing my idea the fucking keyboard just goes ape shit and won't stop writing w's... so I told my boyfriend that his computer was broken and I went into our guest room where my old computer from college was. We had not hooked up the computer since we moved into our house about 6 months earlier, but I was desperate to put my idea down and get started before my inspired feeling started to fade, so I frantically started to gather the mouse and key board and things for my computer... seeing that it was going to take a while, I decided I better just go old school and write the idea down in a good old fashioned note book. I did a very very rough outline for my story in an old college notebook and then started to hook up my computer 'cause I was sure that I had saved the story I was looking for on that computer.

As I startedto pull wires out of the box and put things together my boyfriend comes in and says very shortly "What are you doing? I'm fixing the other computer. I'll set this one up later".

"I want to set it up myself and I don't feel like working in the office now I'd rather work in here 'cause its farther away from the TV and whatever you're watching is distracting me"

Tony, my boyfriend took offense to that so I had to calm him down and reassure him that I appreciated him fixing the other computer and I appreciated his offer to work on mine, but I was feeling inspired and I didn't want to deflate that feeling by waiting around... my fingers were hungry and they wanted to pound some sweet sweet key board for supper... Tony didn't seem particularly satisfied with my passionate outburst, but he went away, so I got my computer hooked up and of coarse the story I was looking for was not saved on that machine... (we have 2 pcs including mine, 2 lap tops and a another computer that runs our Home Automated Living... so we have way too many damn computers in my opinion, but I am not prepared to give up my computer with all of my beloved college papers and pictures and what not).

By the time I figured that out Tony was done fixing his computer in our office so I went in there and found my story... I opened the story up... wrote my rough outline in at the bottom of the story. re-read what I had already written... wrote a few chapter headings and about 1 paragraph of new text... and then I was spent... it was almost 10:00pm and I'd been up since 5:00 am and I suddenly could not keep my eyes open... but I dont think that is why I stopped writing... It was more to do with the fact that my story idea did not really contain a plot... just a vauge notion of how I wanted to structure my story... Why cann't I be filled with exciting stories like JK Rawling or Tolkien or well any successful author... this rambling stuff is all I seem to be able to do. Sigh... maybe some day some great plot will come to me. Hopefully when it does I will be able to keep the inspiration going.

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