Saying good bye is hard

One of my best friends (who is a former SF roommate of mine), Anushka, had a 5-day visit to the Bay Area this week after having been in Kenya for the last 9 months (today she is going back to Kenya - after she makes a 5 day stop in Baharain and Syria to visit another friend of hers... she's so travely ! ) ... so for me this week has been a whirlwind of fun, good food and shadowing Anushka through her exciting fast paced life ! I wish I had 1/2 the energy Anushka does ! She can wake up at 6:00 Am and still be partying hard at midnight (with the help of some coffee to get her going). I on the other had am pretty much ready for bed by 10:00 pm no matter what, but I can usually fake alertness (with the help of caffeine or a 5-hour energy drink) until about 11:30pm... after that I'm pretty much useless...

Anyway, to culminate her stateside stay, Anushka, threw a party and invited a bunch of her friends to Tony's and My house last night... and I, hoping to give off the appearance that I have more friends than I really do, took as many pics as I could of everyone at our house so I can put them on Facebook. It was AWESOME ! We had to use all 8 of our plates 'cause that was how many people were AT OUR HOUSE AT 1 TIME. It was like an octagon of FUN in our living room.

Also, it was actually the first real party our house has seen since it's been OUR house (Apparently the guy who owned the house before Tony and I bought it was very popular in the neighborhood and had a lounge set up in his garage, so I think the house was probably pretty disappointed in Tony and I for being so lame, but I like to think we took a HUGE step towards redeeming ourselves last night) It was frickin' WEDNESDAY NIGHT and we were just chillin' till like 11:00 PM and snacking on some pasta and aps (that's how us cool kids refer to appetizers... and also computer applications, which seems like it might get confusing, but us coolies can tell which "ap" is being used by looking at the syntax)... we've had people over to our house since we bought it of coarse, but those were small tame dinner/board game kind of gatherings... and I'm not saying I'm opposed to that. I do love a good board game, but last night was an off the hook drinkin' wine, eating cheese / worldly hors d'oeuvress and watching U-tube videos on our TV kind of party. It was definately a more exciting type of fun than I'm used to. I'd say it was probably akin to a typical Wednesday night for Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan... well, actually, I think Lohan and Hilton probably aren't quite hard core enough to watch 4 YOUTUBE videos on a weekday night...ROCK-US-NESS ! After a few glasses of wine I even cast off the poncho of shyness that I usually wear to other peoples parties and I started to talk to people I BEARLY KNOW ! ( there were two guys there that I had only met once before and I believe I spoke 2 or 3 FULL SENTENCES to each of them... I feel so brave ! I was pretty familiar with everyone else at the party though, so I was actually a fairly particiapatory party at Anushka's party).

Anyway, as the night started to wind down people inevitably had to leave... and that's where things always get REALLY awkward for me (I am in standard awkward mode from the time a stranger or someone who I'm not 100% comfortable with enters my presence, but knowing that they're leaving enhances the awkward to a whole new level for me...) First Magnus left, I think I had met him once before, but he said "nice to meet you and thanks for having me over" and we shook hands and I think it went pretty well 'cause he took control of the situation and I don't think he heard my awkward "I think I met you once... before... ... but maybe not" and he made it clear we were going for a hand shake and not a hug, so that actually took a lot of pressure off, but then it was Brian's turn to leave... I think Brian is at least equally as socially awkward as I am... so while he was saying good bye to Anushka I kind of stood awkwardly off to the side and stared at them... he hugged Anushka and I stood there rigidly thinking he would probably hug me... but he didn't and I wasn't sure if that mean I should go for the hug with him or not... so I didn't, and then he hugged like everyone else at our house and left... and I was standing there feeling even more awkward than before... It suddenly occurred to me that maybe that was meant as a snub? had I somehow offended Brian ? Was he mad at me ? or was this just because I looked like I didn't want a hug ?... I was still pretty baffled and distraught about it 5 minutes later when Marlen and Mark said they were gonna head out... but I think my good bye went pretty well with them. I hugged Marlen or she hugged me either way it seemed natural (she is super cool and lives close to where I work, so I am hoping she and I will get to hang out sometimes...)... anyway, after I hugged Marlen, I shook Mark's hand and I think it was a really well executed hand shake on both of our parts... and I think it would have been a really good goodbye session overall, but then I started to feel a little awkward again when Marlen and Anushka hugged for like 5 full minutes. For some reason I feel like its rude to NOT STARE at people when they are saying good bye to someone, but my eye balls were starting to feel dry from being so focused so late at night so I think I started to look like I was fighting back tears 'cause I kept blinking... but I really don't know what you're supposed to look at or do when a good by hug is going that long so eventually I sat down and had some more chips while they finished... and then Anushka remembered she wanted Marlen to mail something to her brother for her and that just kind of extended the weird everyone standing around good bye phase...

ok, well anyway, this is getting to be a really long boring play by play of people hugging good bye, but i guess the fact that I have so damn much to say about it is probably a testament to the fact that I give way way way too much thought to good byes... They are important and all, but there really is no reason for me to freak out over it so much... I wish that I was part of a culture where there was some definite thing to do when you leave... I would prefer it if you just always hugged everyone when they left or you never hugged anyone when they leave... why is it sometimes yes and sometimes no? CONFUSING ! Actually I think high 5s would be nice... its satisfying, you can just take all of your good bye time tension and slap it against someone else's hand ... it just feels good... hugging can be nice too, but its kind of an intimate invasion of space, so I guess that is why there is the sometimes no with that...

Anyway, it was a great visit with Anushka, so it was hard too having to mentally say good bye , but I am so friggin exhausted I think I can only hang at her pace for like 3-4 days at a time before I get zonked out... it would be nice to be able to get those 3-4 days more often than once a year though... Perhaps I shall look into going to Kenya.