My Space

Well after years of saying, "I'll never join My Space" I finally did. Actually, I joined face book first, but it only took me about 3 days after I jumped on the facebook bandwagon to hop onto the myspace one.

My original objection with My Space was that I knew too many people (two to be exact) who had boyfriends that cheated on them with chicks they had met on MySpace, so it just seemed to me that hooking up was the main purpose of those sort of sites and I figured since I wasn't looking to hook up with anyone, there really would be no point to joining. The other day though, my friend Carly sent me an invitation to join FaceBook, so I decided, hey why not, FaceBook seemed like more of a way to reunite with old friends from school than a hook up forum, so I joined... and then I told a few people that I had joined facebook and most of them said, dude, facebook is lame, you need to join myspace, it's the same thing but better... so I figured it really was the same thing and BAM I now have a facebook account and a myspace account... but I only have like 3 or 4 friends on each... and all the people who are my friends have so many more friends, and my competative nature is flaring up and I'm totally desperate now to add more friends, so I at least don't look like a loser.

And so in the past week I have probably signed into my face book account about 15 - 20 times and I've done some searchign and whatnot to see if there are any of my old high school aquaintences that I can coerce into adding to my collection of friends so that it is not so small and pathetic. I have probably spent about 4 hours on my space so far which may not seem like a lot, but considering I joined less than 24 hours ago, I think it is a bit excessive. I definately do like my space better so far because it seems easier to customize the my space page and it's actually lives up to it's name, like it does feel like a space of your own. I found myself last night frantically riffling through the pictures on my computer to find the ones I could post that made me look the coolest. I spent probably about an hour answering and edititing my responses to the profile questions and then I spent two or three hours trying to find people that I know on MySpace that might becom myspace friends... I think it's become an addiction already.

I have been looking for some outlet to express myself lately. I joined Youtube about 2 months ago, and I joined blogger a few weeks ago... and actually started using it last weekend, so clearly I do wanna put myself out there. I want to leave my mark on the cyberworld, but I wonder if this is going to somehow detract from the time I would normally spend in the real world. Obviously times like now, where I am at work with no work to do, it's not really gonig to affect anything... although this would normally be my read about world news time and that is arguably more important than blogging... I guess it's a good thing that the phones have been dead at work hopefully I can accomodate all of my new internet worlds and still read news online and sharpen my brain by playing minesweeper and solitaire... oh yeah, and deal with work stuff it that happens to come up.

One concern I have with myspace now is that because I am bascially scrambling to get friends, I have sent out a few friend requests to people that I don't particularly think I'll talk to... like I just want them to see my page and think, "wow Jill's gotten a lot cooler since high school" and I want to have another little picture down in my friends section... like it seems like an excuse to not have to make any real effort to reconnect with people, but still get to find out what's going on in their life. Like it feels like laziness or greediness or something weird like that, but maybe I'm just being uptight. I mean just because I feel kinda dirty about it, doesn't mean I'm not gonna throw out a friend invite to people that I vaugley knew from high school.

Also, when I was cruising through a list of people who went to TO high at the same time as me, I started to get really depressed. I am not sure exactly why, but like as I looked at a lot of people's pages, it kind of made me feel like I've been bad or neglectful of my friends because a lot of people had a lot of myspace friends who were people they were tight with in High School and based on the comments I read on their pages, the still seemd to be pretty close. I had like 10 - 12 friends total in high school, and of that realtively small number there are three people with whom I still hang out. Also, it seems like everyone else has a career that is helping the world or contirbuing to the benift of man kind so much more than my job. Sigh... but I really do need to stop being so critical of my job. I am quite happy with my life before I start comparing myself to others and I am pretty good with my personal decisions even if my job is not going to make the world a better place, maybe I still can.... and as far as friends, who knows maybe I will be able to actually rekindle some friendships on my space. I would definately be stoked if I found out I had friends in my area. That would be a good way to bring the virtual token friends into real life.