Thursday, May 28, 2009

The "I can't believe you just called me fat" game

I try not to be one of those girls who behaves as girls are expected to all the time. I think I might have an actual phobia of falling into a stereotype because at times I have an almost obsessive need to feel like I'm special and being stereotypical just does not work for me... and yet I tend to get annoyed at people who I feel are TRYING TOO HARD to be special and unique (I guess me and the evil villain, Sylar, from Heroes have that in common... that can't be a good sign).

That being said... there is one terribly girly trait that I do allow myself to indulge in fairly frequently: I love to overreact when guys say something to me that could somehow be construed as an insinuation that I am fat. For example if someone said to me " wow you really look great in that dress" I could say to them "Gee THANKS ! I guess normally I look like a cow huh? maybe I better just wear this dress all the time so I don't OFFEND YOU with my OBESITY". Or if they say " I'm full do you want the last piece of pizza ? " I could retort "Oh of coarse I do... YEAH just give it to Jill she'll eat it! She's obviously put away a few pieces of pizza before! "

It's not something I do all the time, but for some reason I think it's funny sometimes... i guess it's 'cause most guys get really really apologetic right away and then I feel like I did a good job of tricking them and I guess it's just like a tiny lame little prank... If I thought someone was seriously calling me fat though I would not think it was so fun at all... in fact I might punch them... or cry about it... or at the very least feel hurt.

An example of that would be the other day when I was at work: there was a substitute driver for the guy who normally delivers the uniforms for our crew's at work and he asked "did you just have a baby" and I took offense to that 'cause that seemed like a random question that could mean nothing other than "hey you look like you're holding onto some extra weight like a woman who just had a baby would be." so my response to him was just "NO" followed by a death stare... and his response to that was a long explanation of how he had apparently filled in for our normal uniform delivery person several months earlier as well and one of the ladies at an office where he delivered uniforms had told him that she was 8 months pregnant and he thought it was my office or I looked like the woman or something and he didn't mean to imply that I looked like I had just had a baby if I hadn't, but yeah, that guy was actually pretty tactless. I did still enjoy the way he was squirming after he realized I was not the baby momma he thought I was... so I guess that ended up being ok.

Why do I enjoy the squirming... that's so cruel... oh well I blame TV... It's way less mean than anything they've ever done on PUNKD which is a show that I ocassionally enjoy, so my desire to toy with men in this way must somehow be MTVs fault.

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