Me + Facebook = : ) Me + phones = : <

Sorry about the title…for some reason lately: me + fake math equations = YAY : ) !!!

I seem to be turning into a veritable Facebook socialite lately… I feel a need to post pics, and status updates and links all the time these days… and I feel like every single one of my facebook friends needs my commentary on everything they do on facebook as well… This is a fairly recent development. When I first joined facebook I was very hesitant to post anything, but now all of the sudden I just can’t get enough!

I can see this turning into the beginning of some dark downward spiral that ends with me going broke after joining one of those virtual world things where I have to spend actual money (or at least the virtual money that is directly deposited into my bank account for working at my actual job) on cute virtual outfits and virtual pets and virtual beers and whatnot in the little virtual universe. God knows I love role playing games or RPGs if you will ( I keep getting final fantasy withdrawals… why won’t Squarenix release FFXIII already?)

…I am pretty sure if I actually allowed myself to go check out one of those virtual sites I would be pretty screwed… When I was in college I was hooked on this video game for N64 called Harvest Moon, which was a game that basically consisted of 15 minute cycles of doing daily chores such as watering plants, milking cows, selling my milk, harvesting my plants and going fishing… after about 15 minutes the next day would start and then I would do all of my chores again… I did this for HOURS AT A TIME rivet-TING!! It seems so sad to think about it now, but when I am playing an RPG I just get totally sucked in… which I guess is ok in moderation.

I am also avoiding twitter ‘cause I figure the “status” thingy in facebook is pretty much the same thing as twitter and I don’t know if I have enough material to put up a witty “status” on facebook AND then tweet some other clever thing as well… and it just seems tedious and stupid to be twittering and facebooking the same thing, so I shan’t be twittering anytime soon… Although I am probably a few days away from breaking down and subscribing to other people’s twitters… what’s the harm in reading what everyone else is doing every minute of the day?

Anyway, even though I do love facebook, I don’t have a ton of friends on there like some people do. The other day I was doing some facebook stalking and I saw that my friend’s sister has over 750 facebook friends… HOLY CRAP! I am quite positive that I have not met 750 people throughout the course of my ENTIRE LIFE! Not to mention the fact that of all of the people I have ever met only like 5% of them could remember my name to look me up on face book. I don't even remotely have the time to meet 750 people... I'm way too busy facebooking all the time to go meet people... geeze.

I seem to have the opposite problem with phones as I do with facebook. Whereas I am becoming miss chatty over-poster on facebook, I am tremendously shy almost to (or maybe all the way to) the point of being phone-phobic. In general I just get really shy and can’t think of a damn thing to say when someone calls on the phone… I think my social schizophrenia has something to do with the fact that I have a lot more time to formulate the perfect witty little quip to throw down on facebook, but with the phone I’ve got to DO IT LIVE! And that kind of pressure melts my brain into a puddle!

I can do a really strong “hell-o” on the phone but everything after that just feels like I am desperately grasping in the dark for something to say… I have a few friends where this is not an issue… I’d say I probably have 4-5 casually-phone-chattable peeps, but with everyone else that I talk to on the phone I suddenly start acting like a parrot or something. The majority of the phone conversations I have consist of me giving 1 word answers to all questions asked of me and then repeating the same question back to the person with whom I'm speaking in a really quick awkward fashion… so for example if someone says to me “how was your weekend” I will say to them“GoodHowWasYours?”… and I also have this problem on the phone where I don’t really know how or when to end the phone call so often it ends like this:
...Them “ok So I’ll see you around 6 then”
Me: “Ok…”
Them “ok”
ME: (not sure if they’re still there)…
Them: (not sure if I’m still there)…
ME: (look at the phone to see if we are still connected… then hang up slowly whether or not it is)

So it’s no wonder that I’m not exactly a bustling socialite in real life… Thank God I seem to be able to handle phones like a normal human being at work though. I have the keen ability to turn on my “its just a job” personality once I walk through the door of my office and I have no problem calling people up and pestering them about paying past due bills and I answer phone calls and seem to be able to converse on the phone in a fairly articulate and cheery manner, yet when it comes to talking with people in my personal life… phones scare the bejeesus out of me… even ordering a pizza is like my worst nightmare… I have no problem… or at least less problem going to a pizza parlor and picking up a pizza to go, but for some reason making that simple phone call just makes me want to hide under my bed. It makes no sense and I wish I knew what the hell my hang up is, but I just do not like phones.

I remember one time when I was in Jr. high my brother and I were home alone and we were supposed to order pizza for dinner, so my brother, knowing that I have a ridiculous phone phobia, got me to wash his car in exchange for him ordering the pizza. Despite the fact that I feel that I have progressed pretty far with my social skills since junior high, if given the choice today I still would rather wash a car than call and order a pizza. Forutnately though internet pizza ordering seems to be getting more and more prevalent... so maybe I am not alone with this whole phone phobia thing.