Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Oreos + Biggest Loser = a recipe for one delicious Tuesday Night

Tony and I were watching the biggest loser last night… and eating Oreos…and I think I should feel more hypocritical about that than I do, but they talk about food throughout the whole damn show, so it’s bound to make you at least little hungry. I always tell myself when the show starts “tonight I am not going to be that person eating crap while I sit around and watch this show about how eating crap and sitting around will make you morbidly obese and ruin your life”, but the show just seems like its setting you up for fitness failure… it’s a 2 hour TV show, so right there you are losing 2 hours that you could potentially be using to participate in a productive activity and then they always have these “temptation challenges” where they show really enticing video footage of all sorts of unhealthy foods.

During the “temptation challenge” the contestants on the biggest loser are supposed to not eat some really tasty looking high calorie food and sometimes they will offer the folks on the show cash and stuff like that to eat the yummy food, but pretty much everyone on the show doesn’t eat it…good for them. It must be cool to have tremendous will power, anyway, that part of the show always makes me really hungry… and since no one is going to throw 250K my way for losing 100lbs (and since I don’t have 100 lbs to lose) I usually end up making 2 or 3 trips to the kitchen to gather up various forms of fatty carby snacking fodder to stuff in my face with while I watch the Biggest Losers work out and eat healthy light meals.

They have “trainer tips” on the biggest loser too, where the personal trainers on the show usually have some shameless plug for a gum or low calorie oatmeal or whoever else sponsors the show. Occasionally they will say something that does not seem to be a plug though, like: “you will burn 300 calories if you do jumping jacks throughout the duration of all of the commercial breaks during the show”, and I’m always like: “hey that’s a good idea… I’m going to do that next week… its too late to start now ‘cause I already missed 2 commercial breaks… but next week fo’ shizzle I am all about the jumping jacks” but somehow despite all of the enthusiasm and encouragement from the trainers, they just haven’t been able to get me to ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING GOOD … and yet every time they show a huge bowl of Cheetos or a 6 pack of beer and tell you how horrible those things are for you… I immediately want to run out and buy Cheetos and Beer… funny how that works… I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find that Coors and Frito Lays are the top sponsors of The Biggest Loser. They do seem to be awefully keen on product placement on that show...

It makes me feel a little guilty ‘cause I know I am sort of missing the whole point of the show, but I think subconsciously… or well actually pretty consciously come to think of it, I am jealous of all these people on the biggest loser… they get to hang out on a “RANCH” and PLAY GAMES all day… they’ve got all these cool buddies to play sports with and they get to go on hikes and take field trips to cool places and do other cool outdoor activities… their little FAT camp looks like a pretty PHAT place to spend a few months if you ask me! (wow, did you see that pun ?... Zziiing).

I love competitions! especially when there are prizes… and I totally miss being in school and being able to hang out with my friends and not have to go to work… If I was guaranteed that I could get on that show I would totally gain a 80 or 90 lbs so I could go to the ranch and play games all day. That would be soooo fun! … but since I have no casting guarantee I guess I’ll just have to stick to board games and easter egg hunts to get my competition fix… I'm actually really really stoked for easter...egg hunts rule!

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